Bobbing my head along to Madonna, "don't tell me". Don't know why I like that song but I do. Wondering if my best friend is mad at me. Wondering why in friggin ... there is something so wrong in my life. Wondering if I should write down the idea that's been trotting in my head for a while. Deciding against it. Reviewing that judgement. Listening to the song "kings of the world" thinking its true. "the kings of the world have people around them but they're alone" "the kings of the world protect themselves against everything, even love." and though it sounds weird in english, its really beautiful in french. Part of the musical comedy of Romeo and Juliet. Love that song. I think its on youtube... Romeo is hot. Smile. I don't know. I'm confused and frustrated and there's something so very wrong with my universe right now. I'm thinking I'd rather hear "numb" than the other song I like of Romeo and Juliet "love". How revealing is that? I imagine my confused state reveals itself in what I'm writing. I don't even know if someone who knows me would even be able to make sense of what I'm saying. Song changes to "leave out all the rest". Linkin' park is actually really good, dyou know? I going to become deaf if I keep raising the sound on this ... computer. I don't care.
Ever wanted a background music? You know, that music that plays at meaningful moments in movies? That's what I want right now. Leave out all the rest. And I keep raising the sound. Until it hurts my ears. Until I can't hear anything else. Until I don't see anything else but the words I write on a computer screen, and darkness.

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared

After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I made

I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you

So if you're asking me
I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well

Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are

(leave out all the rest, linkin park)