Sun's Tears

The sun's tears have faded,
Have to turn the neons back on.
The rain trickling down my skin
Takes away what was already gone.

The secrets too close to the surface,
The lies too smooth to hide.
The sun's tears that have faded,
Truths that strip me bare inside...

Chorus:
(What was already gone was there only for you,
What was already taken was mine.)
They were mine, my secrets,
All my lies that belonged to me,
What I chose, you were meant to have,
But the rest should've been left to me.
_
And after the sun's tears fade,
Where do I have left to hide?
Burried in a grave too shallow
The truth's there to tell you I lied.

So if I burn for innocent sins,
Remember the truth in my lies.
Each tear of the sun was a moment
I spent drowning in your eyes.

Chorus:
_

(What was already gone was there only for you,
You reap what you sow in time.
I had nothing to loose and no reason for tears
What was already taken was mine.)

The sun's tears have faded,
The lights have turned back on.
The rain trickling down my skin
Takes away what was already gone.

Because I feel like writing to my best friend or The Meaning of Goodbye

So maybe my blog is not the most private place to do that. So what?
My brother leaves for prepa classes in britain (french britain. Its not famous but it exists.) in Rennes in august (that or hongkong. Please, no.). My sister leaves for china in a few months. And I'll be... alone? which is odd, you know, because I was alone during a year and it wasn't so... ominous. I've said it so many times, its easier to leave than to be left behind. And, at the same time, remember that cd you gave me, Melinda? Friends. And there's a song that says "it starts with goodbye".
How many things in my life have started with Goodbye? Practically everything. Every change that I've known. And is it so wrong? Goodbye isn't a good thing, is it? Not to most people. Not to me, even. You'd rather things start with hello than goodbye, right? Except people who say hello are legion. There are so many of them, wherever you go. Hello is the polite thing to say when you're the new guy. How many people say hello to you and forget your name as soon as they turn away? How many people say hello to you and aren't even thinking about you, aren't even looking at you, because, all in all, what do you represent? Let me tell you. More or less nothing. You're a face in a sea of faces, some known, some not, a voice that blends in with the surrounding noise. How do I know? Come on, everybody knows. Everyone is like that. When you say hi to someone you don't know, admit it. Most of the time, if they aren't a cute guy, do they even matter? Of course not. They're not people. At best, they're a change, at worst, they're an annoyance because you'd rather be doing something else. Don't get me wrong, I'm not attacking anybody. It isn't wrong, and yes, friendly people do exist, but okay, my point is, what is the meaning of hello? a potential beggining. Maybe, just maybe, the start of a beautiful friendship, huh, Querida? But most often? Hello is nothing. I would rather count the number of goodbyes I have received than the number of hellos.
Who says goodbye? The people you know. The people that said hello to you and actually came through. And aren't they so much more important? The ones that are sad to see you leave. The ones you are sad to see leave. And those goodbyes mean everything. When someone you love says goodbye to you, you remember it. There's an ache, in your heart, in your head, and there's hope and pain and sadness. The french word for goodbye is "au revoir". Want to know what it means? It means "to seeing each other again". And that... that is what's important. Goodbye isn't always an end. Always a beggining, that marks a different stage of life, but not always an end. When you say goodbye, there's hope, because the world? it's a small place. Someday you'll see some of the people you left again. Not all. But you can pretty much tell yourself that the people you never see again, you weren't meant to. The people you never see again don't mean all that much. They were important, at one stage of your life. And if you never see them again, if they don't go out of their way to see you or you don't go out of your way to see them, you don't need to. Some people say goodbye as an end. Others see it as a beggining. Others still see it as a hope. Its all of those things, I say. The best thing, the worst thing about goodbye is that you never know what it will bring.
The hellos in my life? I remember very few of them. But I remember every single goodbye from the people I love. And maybe that's not a good thing. Maybe you think its a negative way to think, a negative way to see life and its people. Me? I see it as people that cared, people I cared about. I see it as beautiful memories, painful memories, but better to feel pain that to feel nothing at all. And that's another subject.
So to those I said goodbye to, really said goodbye, please remember that you were mine. You were those that said hello to me, that I said hello to, those that meant something. You are those that I remember, those that made Goodbye a beggining.

Nous Ne Sommes Pas (We are not)

The heart of a child in a woman's body
Inside there's fear, outside the charm
Pantyhose that slips down
with a heart that follows
The mother of vices
Who's daughters are we?

The eyes of men are daggers
Metronomes that are always late
They admire us, then they insult
Treat us as queens, treat us like .... (guess the word, I dare you)

(chorus)
We are not what you want
We are not what you beleive
We're worse than that, so much worse
We are what you see
We are not what you think
We're worse than that, so much worse
It isn't what we are, it isn't what we are

would you look at yourself, take a look at me,
who is the jester and who's the king?
We are flowers, and you make us fade
If you get pricked don't start crying

(chorus)

We are not only mothers, not only daughters,
Dainty lace and eyes that shine
It isn't what we are, it isn't what we are

This is from Gone with the Wind french theater version, I'd give you the link to clip on youtube, except I don't like it. I like the song, though I don't beleive it, but when I'm angry at someone that sees only what he wants to see in me, I listen to this song and feel... arrogant, and sure of myself. Get why I like it?